doc day 🍻🌎
we’re here, we’re queer, we’re kinda tired and don’t really want to go to class
I have the babiest muscles, but this is a really clear picture of my testosterone tattoo.
there’s a lot of unspoken pressure to keep liking the things you used to like and to keep dressing the way you’ve always dressed and to never question what you believe in and basically “be yourself” has slowly morphed into “be what everyone knows you as” but trust me when i say if you just give it up and simply make decisions and take actions based purely on what would make you happy, you’ll gain a very comforting sense of self peace
how do I love myself more than I loved him ?
i was going to try and use this really universal and beautiful one way of putting this, but i really couldn’t find one. here’s what i can tell you instead; i asked myself this question, from intimate personal experience, and the truth is, i don’t know. i never thought a day would come where he wasn’t the biggest part of me but he left and i stayed and on one of the days you least expect you’ll wake up and realize that your heart’s been yours all along, and you’ve been with you all along. in my case: when he walked away, when i didn’t know how to not react to his name for two years, when i questioned every person who came into my life to love me bc i still didn’t know what about me wasn’t good enough to deserve his love, to deserve his here. and then one day i just fucking decided i was worth more than what he isn’t loving anymore.
and it’s never felt so fucking good in my entire life than realizing i could be my own best friend and realizing i could fall in love with myself (and i’ll tell you what, myself and i - we’re like third date status right now, nothing serious yet but i’m learning how to love her more than anyone else has ever stuck around to do) and i feel so strong.
you, darling, are so strong.